Encyclopaedia Of The Impossible: The Smiling Man

Previously: Roko’s Basilisk

Type: PE (Preternatural Entity).

Period/location of origin: 2007 (approximate), Seattle, Washington, United States.

Appearance: Subject appears to be a tall, middle-aged, male humanoid with dark hair and no facial hair, between 6’2” and 6’5” and often described by targets as “lanky.” From a distance, subject appears to be a man; however, it is not known whether this classification is correct. Subject’s facial expression, which appears to be frozen in place, is exaggerated to the point of unnaturalness, with eyes open wide and mouth drawn into an even wider smile.

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Encyclopaedia Of The Impossible: Ronald Opus


Previously: Eight Feet Tall

(CW: Suicide, homicide.)

Type: EV (Electronic Virus). Or at least, we think it’s an EV. Honestly, we’re not totally sure.

Period/location of origin: Conflicting. In one form, subject may originate as early as 1947; in this form, state or country is unknown. In another form, however, date of origin may be traced back to 1987, and location of origin may be traced back to one Don Harper Mills — or perhaps more accurately, to the mind of Don Harper Mills. Where the thought may have come from before it arrived in Mills’ head remains — as is often the case with these kinds of things — unknown. Additionally, subject in its current form appears to date back to 1994, at which point it first appeared on the internet.

Appearance: Conflicting. Subject may appear to be a deceased male humanoid between the ages of 20 and 40 whose passing occurred as a series of unfortunate events; or, subject may appear to be a story of a deceased male humanoid between the ages of 20 and 40 whose passing occurred as a series of unfortunate events. The difference between these two possible forms is… significant.

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Encyclopaedia of the Impossible: Eight Feet Tall

Previously: La Pascualita.

Type: Unknown. Subject displays traits characteristic of both PE and EV classifications; however, due to insufficient information, a classification is not able to be made at this time.

Period/location of origin: Conflicting. Earliest known documentation of subject appeared on the internet on Aug. 26, 2008; however, events detailed in this documentation occurred in 1998. It is unknown whether subject came into being prior to 1998, in 1998, or on Aug. 26, 2008. (See also: Kunekune; the Slender Manthe Smith Sisters, Murdered Anonymously; etc.) Determination: Inconclusive.

Geographically, subject is believed to originate in Japan.

Appearance: Subject appears to be a tall, thin, female humanoid wearing a white dress and a hat. The details of subject’s appearance vary by account; according to some, subject is an old woman dressed in a tattered kimono, while according to others, subject is a youthful young woman draped in a funeral shroud. Subject is precisely eight shaku in height. (Note: A shaku is a Japanese unit of measure equal to 11.9 inches.)

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Encyclopaedia of the Impossible: La Pascualita

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Previously: The Burpham Ghost Crash.

 Type: SC (Schrodinger’s Corpse)

Period/location of origin: March 25, 1930, Chihuahua, Mexico.

Appearance: Subject appears to be a store mannequin sitting in the window of the bridal shop La Popular: La Casa de Pascualita in Chihuahua, Mexico. Subject may or may not be the embalmed remains of La Popular’s original owner.

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Encyclopaedia of the Impossible: The Burpham Ghost Crash

Previously: The Black-Eyed Children.

Type: IM (Imprinted Memory).

Period/location of origin: Period is debatable. Subject’s first appearance in current form dates to Dec. 11, 2002; however, the inciting incident leading to this form of subject appears to have occurred some five months prior in July of 2002. Location is substantially easier to pin down: Subject has only ever been observed on the A3 in Burpham, Surrey, the United Kingdom.

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