Encyclopaedia Of The Impossible: The Smiling Man

Previously: Roko’s Basilisk

Type: PE (Preternatural Entity).

Period/location of origin: 2007 (approximate), Seattle, Washington, United States.

Appearance: Subject appears to be a tall, middle-aged, male humanoid with dark hair and no facial hair, between 6’2” and 6’5” and often described by targets as “lanky.” From a distance, subject appears to be a man; however, it is not known whether this classification is correct. Subject’s facial expression, which appears to be frozen in place, is exaggerated to the point of unnaturalness, with eyes open wide and mouth drawn into an even wider smile.

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A Sneak Peek At What Goes On Behind The Scenes At TGIMM — For More, Become A Patreon Supporter!

Want to see some of what goes on behind the scenes at The Ghost In My Machine? Consider becoming a Patreon supporter! Kicking in just one dollar a month at what I call the Black-Eyed Child tier gives you access to my patrons-only stream, where I occasionally post extras — bonus mini-posts that go into a little more detail about some of the research I conduct while putting together the content that eventually gets published on TGIMM.

These bonus mini-posts include:

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A Preview Of TGIMM’s Patreon-Exclusive Newsletter (Become A Patron For More!)

Want access to an exclusive newsletter full of weird, spooky, and otherwise strange and unusual stories, games, and more? If you become a Patreon supporter for The Ghost In My Machine at the “Raven Man” tier level, that’s exactly what you’ll get. In case you’re curious about what these newsletters are like, I’ve put together a preview joining some highlights from previous editions — and if you want more, there’s plenty where it all came from. I didn’t name it “TGIMM’s Collection Of Curated Curiosities” for nothing.

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Encyclopaedia Of The Impossible: Ronald Opus


Previously: Eight Feet Tall

(CW: Suicide, homicide.)

Type: EV (Electronic Virus). Or at least, we think it’s an EV. Honestly, we’re not totally sure.

Period/location of origin: Conflicting. In one form, subject may originate as early as 1947; in this form, state or country is unknown. In another form, however, date of origin may be traced back to 1987, and location of origin may be traced back to one Don Harper Mills — or perhaps more accurately, to the mind of Don Harper Mills. Where the thought may have come from before it arrived in Mills’ head remains — as is often the case with these kinds of things — unknown. Additionally, subject in its current form appears to date back to 1994, at which point it first appeared on the internet.

Appearance: Conflicting. Subject may appear to be a deceased male humanoid between the ages of 20 and 40 whose passing occurred as a series of unfortunate events; or, subject may appear to be a story of a deceased male humanoid between the ages of 20 and 40 whose passing occurred as a series of unfortunate events. The difference between these two possible forms is… significant.

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Encyclopaedia of the Impossible: Eight Feet Tall

Previously: La Pascualita.

Type: Unknown. Subject displays traits characteristic of both PE and EV classifications; however, due to insufficient information, a classification is not able to be made at this time.

Period/location of origin: Conflicting. Earliest known documentation of subject appeared on the internet on Aug. 26, 2008; however, events detailed in this documentation occurred in 1998. It is unknown whether subject came into being prior to 1998, in 1998, or on Aug. 26, 2008. (See also: Kunekune; the Slender Manthe Smith Sisters, Murdered Anonymously; etc.) Determination: Inconclusive.

Geographically, subject is believed to originate in Japan.

Appearance: Subject appears to be a tall, thin, female humanoid wearing a white dress and a hat. The details of subject’s appearance vary by account; according to some, subject is an old woman dressed in a tattered kimono, while according to others, subject is a youthful young woman draped in a funeral shroud. Subject is precisely eight shaku in height. (Note: A shaku is a Japanese unit of measure equal to 11.9 inches.)

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Want Access To Bonus Content From The Ghost In My Machine? Support The Site On Patreon!

If you like reading The Ghost In My Machine, consider supporting the site on Patreon! In addition to helping keep this weird little corner of the internet up and running and contributing towards the ongoing expansion (More frequent posts! A better, prettier design! Other good stuff!), Patreon supporters also get access to a bunch of neat-o incentives and bonus content. These incentives and bonuses include, but are not limited to:

  • A look behind the scenes at TGIMM, including some of the cool stuff I dig up during the researching process, updates on the site redesign, etc.;
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As always, regular TGIMM content will continue to be posted here on Mondays and Wednesdays, accessible to everyone for free; that’s not going anywhere! The bonus content that goes up on my patron-only feed for Patreon supporters is just that — a bonus. The goal of the Patreon campaign is to fund the resources that will enable me to bring you more of the content you love without having to rely too heavily on ads and advertisers to make it happen.

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Stay spooky!

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