The Search Terms from the Black Lagoon: Why You Shouldn’t Buy Haunted Dolls, South American Larvae, and Other Queries Answered

abandoned computerPreviously: Ghost Babies and Jungle Splash.

It’s time for another addition of The Search Terms from the Black Lagoon, in which I attempt to figure out what you were trying to find when Google sent you to my weird little corner of the Internet. This time, we’re taking a look at memes, hoaxes, and the consequences of screwing up the Midnight Game. Here we go:

1. “Why you shouldn’t buy haunted dolls”

Uh… because they’re haunted? See: Robert the Doll.

2. “Blood vessel in hand urban legend”

This one has a lot of possibilities, but I think the most likely one is the old “is our blood actually blue until it hits the air?” question. Answer: Nope. According to Mental Floss, blood is always red, even when it’s in our veins. So why do our veins look blue when we’re just, y’know, looking at them through our hands? Because of how we perceive light and color — not because of what the color of the thing actually is. Check out more over at Mental Floss.

3. “Strange and unusual creature growing on woman’s breast”

That would be the old “breast rash caused by South American larvae” hoax. There are a couple of variations on the theme; the original one focuses on a woman who went on vacation, only to find when she returned that she had brought back a whole bunch of unwanted visitors in her breasts. Others include the Head and Shoulders shampoo hoax and the Hurricane Katrina version. Head on over to Snopes for more, but consider yourselves warned — the images are graphic, even if they’re fake.

4. “Spongebob Squarepants you can’t hang out with the squad meme”

I’m actually not familiar with that particular Spongebob meme, but you can find a pretty thorough rundown of the confirmed ones at KnowYourMeme.

5. “Did anyone find skeletons in the Crystal Palace train tunnel?”

Nope; it’s an urban legend. It makes for a good Encyclopaedia entry, though, doesn’t it?

6. “What will happen if I burn the paper that has my blood and name on it while playing the Midnight Game?”

That’s a good question. As far as I know, it’s not specified in any of the versions of the Midnight Game rules out there, so all I can do is speculate: Some purification rituals intended to “end” these types of games involve disposing of all the materials used in them by burning them; as such, it’s possible that burning the paper might keep the Midnight Man at bay after the conclusion of the game (since, y’know, there’s no guarantee he’ll actually leave). That said, though, I would caution against burning the paper while you’re actually in the process of playing the game. It might just make the Midnight Man angry — and as we all know, you wouldn’t like the Midnight Man when he’s angry.

Google well, my friends!

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